Seems to me the problem is more with the cis-hetero folks being phobic. So you start dating someone and find out they have different genitals than you expected, you tell them you're not into that, and move on.

Sometimes you meet someone you're really into and find out they want kids and you don't, or vice-versa. You tell them, it doesn't work out, you move on. Such is life.

Dating and finding a good match in a partner is complicated. People just try to find excuses to justify their phobia and hatred toward people who are different from themselves, rather than evaluating their own ignorance.