I think most kids learn very quickly and early in life that there are things which just must be done, whether they like it or not.

Most people who are in prison have neurodevelopmental disabilities and/or psychological trauma (FASD, ADHD, c-PTSD, addictions), grew up in poverty, and/or in violent neighbourhoods, and/or in violent homes. It's quite the opposite of being told they don't have to do hard things.

I'm not saying that we should let our kids get out of anything they don't want to do, and I'm not saying that isn't also harmful... however I am saying this is much less common, and less harmful than the alternative.